30 ways in 30 days

Having your mom write a book about parenting is absolutely terrifying.

When my mom started working on her second book, I knew I wanted to be involved. I think she assumed I was helping her because writing is one of my passions and because, for me, getting my hands a little messy in the production of a book is like getting a little taste of ecstasy. Or maybe she thought I wanted to make sure that the ideas she was going to provide would make sense in the eyes of a teenager.

What I really wanted to do was save my name. Sure, Mom said she wouldn’t write anything that would embarrass me . . . but this just might be the one thing I will never fully trust her on. This was coming from the woman who thinks it’s okay to tell my friends naked baby stories.

I was going to be sneaky. I had a plan. I told her I was going to check for typos and make little suggestions about the wording of things. And I did. But, secretly, I was also making sure nothing got said that I didn’t want said.

I think she caught on. She has a way of doing that. It’s like moms can read minds sometimes. I can’t wait until I’m a mom and I can read minds . . . but that’s beside the point. The point is that as I was scanning the pages of her book, I realized why my mom is a superhero. (You can’t blame me for being cheesy and saying things like she’s a superhero. She says cheesy things, too and I am her daughter. Besides, even when we say cheesy things, we mean them.) My mom is a superhero because her heart is in the right place, and because when she finds things that make her come alive, she goes and does them.

You see, the way I see it, the world has two problems.
The first is that we all let our hearts get wrapped up in the wrong places and when we do, we forget about the things that really matter. The second problem is our fear, or timidity, or whatever it is that keeps us from chasing after the calling of our hearts once they are in the right place. My mom decided that the value of a strong family matters to her, and she does everything in her power to preserve that value. My world is a better place because she and my father dedicated themselves to providing my brothers and me with the best they could. They gave us everything we needed as kids, as maturing teenagers and young adults, as part of humanity, and as unique individuals.

I believe the most important thing my parents gave us is their example. They showed us how to live, how to love, and what it means to have faith. I’m not sure if I could put to words why I believe their strong example has been so influential in my life, but one of my all-time favorite quotes does an amazing job of it. In his book, Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller wrote, “. . . I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing on the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself.” I have grown up witnessing undying love and persistent belief. They come easy for me because I have seen them at work. My parents would never have had to tell me what those words, love, and faith meant, but they did that too.

Art comes from the soul of the artist. It doesn’t shy away from challenging culture, and it doesn’t try to match the standards of society. Art represents what the artist is trying to convey, but it never reaches perfection. Parenting is a strange and beautiful art form. I admire all parents who take up the role of the artist, eagerly pursuing their own potential and trying to become an example for their children. I hope you will read this book and find inspiration, encouragement, technique, and an appreciation for the power of your own influence in the lives of your children.

Chances are that even though I tried to prevent it, I’ll turn a page in this book after it’s published and blush. But I’m guessing I’ll get over it pretty fast because it’s really not that bad being embarrassed by a superhero.

And Mom, that’s not an invitation.




(a blurb I wrote for her book coming out in May, 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family )