On Keeping a Notebook

"I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be whether we find them attractive company or not."

"we forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget."

Joan Didion

A Favorite

"A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, 'Do it again'; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, 'Do it again' to the sun; and every evening, 'Do it again' to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore."

Chesterton, G.K. Orthodoxy. Radford, VA: Wilder Publications, 2007. 38.

Romans 8:31-39

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own son, but gave him up for us all, won't he also give us everything else?

Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one- for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one- for Christ Jesus died for us, and was raised to life for us, and is seated in the place of honor at God's right hand, pleading for us.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity or are persecuted or hungry or destitute or in danger or threatened with death? (As the scriptures say, "for your sake we are being killed every day. we are being slaughtered like sheep.") No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours, through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing will ever be able to separate us from God's love. Neither life nor death, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or on the earth below- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Freedom

Josh Garrels
"Freedom"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6csM0TLZIs

professional or beginner doesn't matter every sinner is a prisoner in a body that is subject to time
now my untwined mind tries to form a straight line-not like twisted scoliosis of the spinal cord construct
cross eyed carpenters are cutting crooked lines can't construct man made shrines when the winds and the water move the sands of time
many minds on the dead line yet live life like a live wire
i'm not tired of blood and fire, spirits movin higher than the green grass ever lifted me
spirits movin higher than anything else ever lifted you
we've got spirituality it's living in us like one in three
injustice is concerning me in the non-linear eternity
i'm speaking paradoxically but you can nod your head now when you understand me
this is for my free men who's backs won't bend in the lion's den now with their eyes on the ending

this is for my free women they fight with their love, the bearers of our children
free men who's backs won't bend in the lion's den now with their eyes on the ending
our free women who fight with their love, the bearers of our children
we shine like lights exposing what lies underneath decomposing our iron dull chains that are rusted- oh sweet Lord, is that what i trusted in? that sin? that time foolery? what it is is mental jewelry that i adorned myself with
the enemy's gifts, the man made mitts, the ignorant bliss of marijuana spliffs and alcoholic fits, i got so sick and tired of it.
delivered and redeemed, by Christ I mean
it's time to start living and get a reason for the rhyme
i don't want to be dead wrong on the dead line standing on the dark side and all out of time
like a blind band of mimes fantasize climb up his own ladder to the sunshine

nothing's mine that hasn't been given, no one's alive here that hasn't been risen
for 19 years i was trapped in a prison feeding my escape by means of derision
but every man made attempt just failed when trapped in a jail of my own guilt, shame, and iniquity
i was looking for freedom "how do i find freedom? oh, freedom from all of this"
He said "believe", he said "believe"
"who are you telling me to believe?"
he said, "i'm the Christ" oh, he said, "i'm the Christ" so i believed
freedom

Warning

Warning
Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin sandals and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Discovered Love Letters

For your sake, Ginny dearest, I must succeed. Your happiness, your pride, all your physical and mental well-being depend on that. I could no more expect your love without them than I could expect to live without food or breath; I wouldn't ask it of you for I wouldn't be worth it.
For I love you, my darling, more than I'll ever be able to put into words. My only happiness is your happiness and for that I would move mountains if it were necessary. I promise you, Ginny, we will be happy. With the Lord's help and with a little understanding, we can't miss.
I love you, Ginny, now and forever,
Johnnie



But even though I don't write so well, it isn't because I don't love you for that would never be possible. I honestly and truly admit that it is only you that I love and have ever loved. I love you so very much that only you and being married to you will ever begin to satisfy all that love. Truly, Ginny, you are the center of my life and my love for you is the orbit in which I live. I love you so very very much.
And I miss you terribly. If I had had you this weekend just one day, it would have been a most blessed weekend. I'll never be able to say how acutely I longed for you every single day I was there. And to tell the truth, I probably wanted you there with me just as much to brag about how lucky I am as for any other reason. I doubt if I'll ever be so proud of anything as I am of you.
And to think that I willingly left you this summer. How could I have done such a thing? Never again!
The first day we are together I am not going to do a thing but look at you. There's too much beauty to behold to do anything else.
The second day, I'll do nothing but hold you and follow you no matter how much you try to deter me.
The next day I'm going to make up for all those kisses I've missed and there is a powerful store of them to make up for so nevermind the lipstick that morning.
After that day, then I'll be ready to do some work around the place. Like the back stile and maybe a new roof over the sheep pen or whatever needs fixing.
And then I'll take a nice long walk through the swamps with you. This time there will be no bees to sting you; I won't let them.
Shucks, it's 2:30 a.m. Bed time for me. Love you, my darling,
always
Johnnie

30 ways in 30 days

Having your mom write a book about parenting is absolutely terrifying.

When my mom started working on her second book, I knew I wanted to be involved. I think she assumed I was helping her because writing is one of my passions and because, for me, getting my hands a little messy in the production of a book is like getting a little taste of ecstasy. Or maybe she thought I wanted to make sure that the ideas she was going to provide would make sense in the eyes of a teenager.

What I really wanted to do was save my name. Sure, Mom said she wouldn’t write anything that would embarrass me . . . but this just might be the one thing I will never fully trust her on. This was coming from the woman who thinks it’s okay to tell my friends naked baby stories.

I was going to be sneaky. I had a plan. I told her I was going to check for typos and make little suggestions about the wording of things. And I did. But, secretly, I was also making sure nothing got said that I didn’t want said.

I think she caught on. She has a way of doing that. It’s like moms can read minds sometimes. I can’t wait until I’m a mom and I can read minds . . . but that’s beside the point. The point is that as I was scanning the pages of her book, I realized why my mom is a superhero. (You can’t blame me for being cheesy and saying things like she’s a superhero. She says cheesy things, too and I am her daughter. Besides, even when we say cheesy things, we mean them.) My mom is a superhero because her heart is in the right place, and because when she finds things that make her come alive, she goes and does them.

You see, the way I see it, the world has two problems.
The first is that we all let our hearts get wrapped up in the wrong places and when we do, we forget about the things that really matter. The second problem is our fear, or timidity, or whatever it is that keeps us from chasing after the calling of our hearts once they are in the right place. My mom decided that the value of a strong family matters to her, and she does everything in her power to preserve that value. My world is a better place because she and my father dedicated themselves to providing my brothers and me with the best they could. They gave us everything we needed as kids, as maturing teenagers and young adults, as part of humanity, and as unique individuals.

I believe the most important thing my parents gave us is their example. They showed us how to live, how to love, and what it means to have faith. I’m not sure if I could put to words why I believe their strong example has been so influential in my life, but one of my all-time favorite quotes does an amazing job of it. In his book, Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller wrote, “. . . I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing on the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes. After that I liked jazz music. Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself.” I have grown up witnessing undying love and persistent belief. They come easy for me because I have seen them at work. My parents would never have had to tell me what those words, love, and faith meant, but they did that too.

Art comes from the soul of the artist. It doesn’t shy away from challenging culture, and it doesn’t try to match the standards of society. Art represents what the artist is trying to convey, but it never reaches perfection. Parenting is a strange and beautiful art form. I admire all parents who take up the role of the artist, eagerly pursuing their own potential and trying to become an example for their children. I hope you will read this book and find inspiration, encouragement, technique, and an appreciation for the power of your own influence in the lives of your children.

Chances are that even though I tried to prevent it, I’ll turn a page in this book after it’s published and blush. But I’m guessing I’ll get over it pretty fast because it’s really not that bad being embarrassed by a superhero.

And Mom, that’s not an invitation.




(a blurb I wrote for her book coming out in May, 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family )